We're Going To Be Fine
by crookedy0ung
Summary: Destiel. Set just after the Season Eight finale (spoilers for those who haven't watched it yet)


I felt blind. I felt blind, deaf, mute, cut off to the world. I was numb.

I couldn't remember what had happened, yet I remembered every single detail. I remembered Metatron, my grace, I remembered finding Naomi dead across her desk, I remembered my brothers and my sisters spinning towards earth as their wings burnt up and their grace disintegrated with it. Thoughts and feelings swarmed my head and my senses, sweat broke out on my forehead and before I knew it I was toppling to the forest floor again.

What was I to do? My grace had been ripped from me and I'd been sent falling down to earth as a… as a _human_, I was an angel no longer. How was I to feel about this? Should I be happy? Humans get to live long, happy lives with each other; they aren't soldiers, they're free to do as they please and make what they want of their short, unimportant lives. But then, I was _only human_, what if Dean found me like this? What if he told me I was useless to them now and kicked me to the curb?

That familiar, unwelcome feeling began to bubble in my gut as my thoughts lingered over the hunter. _Go away_, I willed, pulling myself back up to my feet as I clenched my gut, _I don't want you here._ Unlike normal however, the feeling wasn't so easily banished; on a normal day I could force it away as I pleased, I could ignore my thoughts and feelings until next time they popped up. But today, no, today was not a normal day.

Groaning, I began to drag myself through the trees in the direction of where I thought the Winchesters to be with Crowley. I hoped Dean got to Sam in time, but what if he hadn't? What if Sam was dead and gone? That would leave Dean even lonelier than he already was. His brother would be gone, his entire family would be deceased; he wouldn't want me any longer now that my grace had been stolen by that… by that _jackass_.

A tingling sensation ripped through my skin at the word I'd heard Dean say once or twice. A small smiled cracked out across my face, but it didn't stay for very long. Dean. Dean Dean Dean, Dean was all I could think about. He's all I've been able to think about since Purgatory. Did that mean something? Surely not, angels don't feel things towards others.

_But Castiel_, my brain hissed, _you are not an angel any longer, must I remind you of that?_

I stopped dead in my tracks, falling against the bark of one of the thin, dying trees. _I wasn't… I wasn't an angel anymore_. I felt the backs of my eyes begin to burn, accompanied with the tightening of my throat as if it was the first time I'd heard the news. I wasn't sure what this new feeling was, but, I knew as soon as droplets of water began to slip from my eyelids that it wasn't a pleasant one.

A few seconds after the droplets began falling, my knees became numb, they gave in underneath me and I fell down to the forest floor for the third and (hopefully) final time. My vocal chords forced out a choked noise as I began to, what I assumed, was sob; my eyes screwed up and my hands lifted to rub away the tears.

I could've sat there for hours, days, minutes, who knows, before my human ears picked up the faint shout, "_CAS?_" the voice was deep, strained and upset, it made me flinch, "_CASTIEL?! CASTIEL ARE YOU HERE?_"

I glanced up over my hands to the forest, it was illuminated by the fiery skies above me so even without my enhanced vision I could still see pretty decently. There was a silhouette of a man in the distance and, of course, I recognised him instantly.

"Dean," my voice came out quiet and cracked as I tried calling to him, "Dean I'm here."

I reached up to one of the tree branches above me, my fingers gripping it tightly as I raised myself back to my feet. I stared at my friend in the distance, wishing that I could call out to him, tell him I'm here. "De-ean!" I tried a little louder, my tongue slipping over the syllable, as another sob built up in the back of my mouth.

Dean paused, not daring to take a step further before he turned in the spot, eyes squinted and looking for me. He'd almost turned full-circle before he saw me. "Cas?" he called, making a beeline straight for me.

There were still those tears falling from my eyes every second or two; I had no idea how to stop them seeing as they didn't stop at will, so I presumed they just stopped on their own. I nodded over at Dean, not daring to take my hand off the branch before he'd reached me. He looked hurt, confused, his eyes were wide with worry.

"Cas," his voice was softer than before once we were only a foot apart, his eyes skimmed over the drying trails of water lining my face, "Cas buddy, what happened?"

I shook my head slowly, "I-I'm…" curse this human voice, "Dean I'm… _human_!"

Another sob tore through me and I fell forwards into Dean's chest, his arms wrapping around me almost immediately as my body shook with each wave of emotion. His hand rubbed my back comfortingly before it slid up to hold my head against his shoulder, "shhh," he soothed, pressing his lips to the side of my head instinctively, "don't cry Cas, Cas it'll be fine."

"N-no it won't!" I screamed, shocking even myself as my voice raised for the first time I'd ever known it to, "I'm not… I'm… I'm useless Dean! What am I going to-" I cut off, pulling my head away from him, "how's Sam? Is he okay? Did you make it?!" I changed the subject swiftly, realising that I'd probably been talking and thinking of myself a little too much.

Dean's expression stayed solid as he nodded, but something flashed behind his eyes which told me that maybe, everything wasn't quite okay, "yeah, yeah Sammy's fine," he mumbled and let me go, a light pink tinge to his cheeks as he realised that maybe we'd been hugging for a little too long. "He'll be fine," he changed his reply, a little more truthful-sounding this time. "But you Cas, I mean… you're… you're hardly taking this okay."

"I'll be fine Dean," I reassured even though I wasn't too sure myself, "I promise, but Sam-"

"Enough about Sam!" he snapped, "he'll be fine, I'm worried about you too okay?"

He pulled me into another hug, tighter this time as if he was trying to hold onto something bigger than just a human body, "okay, but-"

He pulled away, hand lifting up to my cheek as he looked me deep in the eyes. I felt that unpleasant feeling from earlier flutter in my stomach once more as his green eyes met my blue, _I told you to go away_, I internally growled, ready to shout at myself, but I was quickly cut off by a light tap to the cheek. "No buts," Dean smiled, "no buts, it's going to be fine. You're going to be fine. We're going to be fine."


End file.
